Why I Stay With You
by SugarSubstitute
Summary: A 2-Chappie songfic about Mello and Matts abusive relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Yay! I am back hehe.  
The song is Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis btw... hehe.  
There will be 2 chappies, one about Matt and one in Mellos POV...

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_Closed off from love_

_ I didnt need the pain_

_ Once or twice was enough _

_And it was all in vain_

_ Time starts to pass _

_Before you know it your frozen_

Matt sighed, staring down at the grimy table and stirred his now cold coffee. Mello had gone out again, flushed with anger and swearing like a sailor. "Oh why do I put up with this?" The redhead murmured to himself, he knew the answer already. He put up with his boyfriends abuse because - he loved him too much. Besides, there was another side to Mello, a side Matt rarely saw. But the kind, calm side of Mello was still there.

After every beating, after every row was the same, Mello would lay Matt down, crying and begging for forgiveness and kissing all the cuts and bruises, praying to his God and promising it would never happen again. It was always the same, and Matt always forgave him, because he loved him so much.

Matt could feel the tears at the back of his eyes, he had given up so much for Mello. Near, L and Wedy had all warned him about the angry, chocoholic blonde when they started dating but Matt had chosen to ignore them. He had never loved anyone before he met Mello.

_But something happened for the very first _

_Time with you _

_My heart melts into the ground_

_ Found something true_

_ And everyones looking round_

_ Thinking Im going crazy_

"Oh Mello, why cant you see how much I love you?" Matt whispered, tears falling down his cheeks, he had to take the goggles off to wipe them away and sniffle quietly. Oh he was sure Mello loved him deep down, oh but sometimes it was so hard to believe. "You know I would sacrifice anything for you" The redhead murmured to himself, rising from the chair and pouring the stone cold coffee down the sink, wincing in pain.

_But I dont care what they say _

_Im in love with you _

_They tried to pull me away _

_But they dont know the truth_

_ My hearts crippled by the pain_

_ That I keep on closing You cut me open and I -_

Matt gasped as he felt a searing pain in his side, and he pulled the striped top he was wearing, up slighly and groaned as he noticed the stab wound was deeper than he thought.

_- Keep bleeding keep keep bleeding love _

_I keep bleeding_

_ I keep keep bleeding love _

_Keep bleeding Keep keep bleeding love_

_ You cut me open_

Matt found himself vaguely remembering something Near had said, "Hes gonna kill you one day Mail" Maybe he was right.  
Well if he was right, Matt didnt mind. "Mello" He murmured. He could feel that there was something seriously wrong in his side, he became aware that his ribs were probably broken. "Oh God Mello" He whispered "Please come home" Tears still poured down his cheeks. "Please, even if you hate me forever, please help me" Matt sobbed, his legs were rubbery and he crumpled to the floor. He knew Mello never ment to hurt him, the blonde had anger problems. The alcohol and over-working didnt help.  
At the end of the day, nothing mattered as long as Mello loved him.

_Trying so hard not to hear_

_ But they talk so loud _

_Their peircing sounds fill my ears_

_ Trying to fill me with doubt_

_ Yet I know the goal_

_ Is to keep me from falling_

"Please leave him Matt, for your own safety" Wedy had said. L and Near had agreed, they had tried to convince Matt to leave Mello when they found out what was happening, but Matt had been adamant. "I love him" he had said. They had told him he was crazy to stay with him, that Mello wasnt right for him. But they didnt know anything, Mello was more than a leather-clad sex God to Matt, he was the first person he ever loved, when he was in a bad mood he was an angry, sadistic bully. But when he was okay, he was... he was the sanest, calmest, kindest and most caring person Matt had ever met.

But nothings greater Than the rush that comes with your embrace And in this world of lonliness I can see your face Yet everyone around me Thinks that Im going crazy Maybe, maybe...

His focus was blurring, Matt was aware that the wound was very deep, about four inches deep. He needed help or he was gonna bleed to death. "Mello" He sobbed.  
He became aware that there was someone standing over him, he heard his lovers panicked cry "Matt! Mattie-Kun? Hold on love, please!" Mello's sweet voice was high pitched with fear and shock as he called the ambulance, pulling the younger man into his lap. "Stay awake Mattie-Kun, please Matt! God Im so sorry" Tears were running down the blondes cheeks as he held his dying lover.

_And its draining all of me _

_Oh they find it hard to believe_

_ I'll be wearing these scars _

_For everyone to see..._

"I love you Mel" Matt murmured, Mello nodded, still sobbing. "Im sorry Matt, Im so sorry"  
"I know Mel"

And the redhead slipped away...

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Yh Matts dead, the next chappie (theres gonna be 2) is gonna be in Mellos POV, Matts funeral.

Plzz reveiw.

Xx Kate


	2. Chapter 2

Yay, part 2 of 2... hehe.  
This ff is depressing but I felt like going a lil emo

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Mello was sobbing as he stood next to the closed casket, holding his late lover. "Im so sorry Matt" he murmured,  
holding onto the rosary around his neck. "Im so sorry"  
He looked up to see Near glaring at him. "You should be sorry Miheal Keehl" the young albino said furiously.  
"You killed him" The white-haired teenager was shaking with anger, Wedy, his girlfriend, appeared next to him and wrapped an arm around him. "Come Near" she said to him, she stared at Mello "Did you really kill him"  
Mello nodded dumbly, tears were still flowing from his pale blue eyes as he stared into the open casket of the first and only person to ever love him.  
Wedy frowned and walked away.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Dead. Buried. Gone.

Those three words ran thorugh Mellos head as he returned back at the flat he had once shared with Matt.

Dead. Buried. Gone.

He had killed Matt. He had killed the one person he could trust, the one person who accepted him. Mello had loved Matt since they met, but it was only now, as he stood staring into the mirror at his pale, confused expression, that he realised just how much he needed him.

"Oh God Matt" He murmured. He grabbed the razor on the side of the bath and stared into the reflection of his own haunted eyes, dulled by pain and loss and confusion. "How could I ever hurt you?"

Slash

The first cut didnt hurt much, Mello was too numb.

Slash.

The second did, and Mello was soon half-laughing and half-crying as he ran the razor across his already scarred wrists. Deeper and deeper until there was more blood on the walls and floor than there was in his own body, and he lay semi-conscious slumped against the tub.

"I love you Matt" he murmured, then his eyes rolled back and he slid into nothingness.

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Yh I killed them both, hehe.

Plzz reveiw.

Xx Kate 


End file.
